• PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.
  • Men would get reputations for sleeping around.
  • Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets.
  • A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is breathing.
  • Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds.
  • Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity
  • "Ms." Magazine would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily clad male models.
  • Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.
  • Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit.
  • Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks."
  • Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women made.
  • Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas.
  • Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures.
  • Men would learn phrases like: "I'm sorry", "I love you", "You're beautiful", "Of course you don't look fat in that outfit".
  • Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments.
  • Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking.
  • Men would pay as much attention to their woman as to their car.
  • All toilet seats would be nailed down.
  • Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers.
  • TV news segments on sports would never run longer than 1 minute.
  • All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator.
  • During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women would date 19-year olds.
  • Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constantly.
  • After a baby is born, men would take a six-week paternity leave to wait on their wives hand and foot.
  • For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year old for six weeks.
  • Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams.

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Idiots in the Room

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

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