dog catcher calls for backup when he visits your house.
think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food
have a house that has wheels and four cars that don't.
have a set of twelve matching salad bowls, and they all say
"Cool Whip" on the side.
secret family recipe is illegal.
list your parole officer as a reference.
are always stopping at your house thinking you're having a
four-year-old is a member of the NRA.
number of times you've seen either Elvis or a UFO exceeds
see an ad that says "Just say no to crack" and it reminds
you to pull up your pants.
drive yourself to the sixth grade.
wife used to be your mother-in-law.
to the bathroom at night involves boots and a lantern.
wife keeps a couple shotgun shells tucked in her bra for emergencies.
think the last four words of the National Anthem are "Gentlemen,
start your engines!"